


Distant

by Sweet___Tea



Category: Dear Evan Hansen
Genre: Angst, Currently being rewritten - Freeform, Dubious Consent, Lying? In my deh fanfic? It's more likely than you think., M/M, Multi, Suicide Attempt, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Trans Evan Hansen, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-06 08:57:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 2,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13407813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweet___Tea/pseuds/Sweet___Tea
Summary: Jared has been acting distant(!!!!Currently being rewritten!!!)





	1. Chapter 1

Connor, Evan and Jared have been together for three months.

"Connor have you noticed something..off...about Jared lately?"

"No. He seems alright to me."

"O-okay.."

Jared had been acting distant.

"Jared is everything okay? You know you can tell us anything."

"Don't worry Ev, I'm A-ok!

"Alright....."

Jared was not A-ok. Not in the slightest. But he was afraid his boyfriends that he loved with all his heart, would breakup with him. So he remained silent, and lied about how he was doing.

"Jared!" Connor snapped, after having sat with his boyfriend in silence for several minutes. Jared flinched, but didn't look up from his coffee mug. "Evan is really fucking worried about you! Why have you been acting so goddamn distant lately?! Do you not love us anymore or some shit?!"

Connor expected Jared to make a joke or at least react to Connor's yelling, but Jared just stood there, blank and numb.

"Jared? Please..talk to me..."

Jared's shoulders collapsed from their tense position and Connor noticed sudden tears being to stream down the other man's face. 

"I-I can't you'll-you'll hate me.."

Connor was immediately at Jared's side, holding him.

"No no no no no no no no no! I promise I will never hate you. Why on earth would you think that?!"

"Be-because...I-I lied... to you and Evan..."

Connor's grip on Jared loosened.

"What did you lie about?"

Jared was silent

"What did you lie about!?"

Jared flinched but remained silent.

Connor froze in silent terror and tears welled in his eyes "I was right. You don't love us anymore."

Jared snapped his head up. "No. I do love you I-" he took a shakey breath.. "I do love you it's just.."

"What, Jared...?"

It all came out in a burst of words and tears.

"I didn't want to!"

For a second Connor looked confused, "Didn't want to, what?"

"Have sex, th- that first time..." Jared looked at the ground in what seemed like shame, "And, all of the other times too... I just, forced myself, you do it... For you and Evan."

Connor's face fell.

"I- I have to leave.." Connor kept to his feet.

Jared looked down as he heard the door slam.

He looked at the closed door for a moment, but then realized his eyes were so full of tears he couldn't see the door anymore.

It almost looked like just a wall.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor feels really bad
> 
> *Warning!* there is a suicide attempt in this chapter!  
> there will be a line like this  
> ***********************************  
> before and after the suicide attempt  
> ***********************************

Connor ran down the hallway, opened the door and ran out of the building. He ran and ran until he got to the park close to their apartment.

Connor picked up his cellphone and dialed Evan's number.

"Connor? Why are you calling me I'm at work"

"Jared.....He told me what's wrong.."

"What is it?! What was- er..is wrong..?"

"I probably shouldn't tell you...It's Jared who should tell you, but I can say that it..it wasn't very good at all."

Connor could hear Evan take a deep breath.

"O-okay... can you tell him that it'll all be okay for me.."

"I'm not- I'm not with him. I'm in the park. After he told me, I left without saying anything so he wouldn't see me cry..and now that I say it out loud...oh god he probably thinks I hate him what if he- oh god oh god I got to go home! I'll see you later Ev!"

"Okay b-"

Connor hung up and started sprinting towards the apartment building.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

After Connor left Jared stared at the door till he couldn't see it through the tears.

'He hates you'

'He thinks you're looking for attention'

'He's gonna tell Evan and then he'll hate you too'

************************************************************************************

'You should just off yourself'

Jared slowly got up off of the floor and wandered towards the bathroom.

'They'll be so much happier without you'

He opened the medicine cabinet and reached for a bottle of pills.

'Do it'

He opened the bottle, grabbed a handful and shoved it into his mouth. But he dropped it spilling the rest of the pills all over the floor when he heard the door slam.

**************************************************************************

"Jared?!"

Connor rushed into the bathroom to find Jared sobbing with pills scattered around him.

"Did you swallow any?!"

Jared slowly nodded.

"Oh god oh god! Okay..okay just stay awake okay? I'll call 911."

Jared nodded again and fought to stay awake.

Jared lost consciousness just as he was brought onto the ambulance. The last thing he heard was Connor.

"I'm so sorry.....I shouldn't have left....."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dw he's alive i swear
> 
> if you comment i will love you forever.
> 
> (follow me on tumblr? maybe? https://k1ttyclaws.tumblr.com/ )


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor phones Evan about Jared being in the hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw i have no self control so..
> 
> This chapter is pretty short but you got three chapters in a day

Evan's phone rang about an hour after Connor had phoned him before.

"Hello?"

He heard someone crying on the other end.

"H-hey Ev..."

"What happened?! What's wrong?!!?"

"He-Jared.....He's in the hospital"

"...what?" Evan choked on his sob.

"...Pills.....Attempt....all my fault." Connor mumbled.

"No no no no no It's not your fault it's no one's fault. I'll be there soon."

"It was my fault though..."

"No! It was not! Maybe you shouldn't have left but this was not. Your. Fault."

Silence

"I'll be there soon. Love you and Jared. Bye"

Evan hung up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared's boyfriends visit him is the hospital

As soon as Jared opened his eyes he knew he was in the hospital.

'You couldn't even do *that* right'

'You failure'

After a few boring minutes that felt like hours, Evan and Connor entered the room. They stood in the doorway for a moment and then Connor quickly rushed to Jared and hugged him. Evan followed at a slower pace.

After a few minutes that felt like seconds Connor pulled back, "Don't. Ever. Even. Think. About. Doing. That. Again!" Connor almost shouted, lightly hitting Jared with each syllable.

"Ow"

"Shit! Sorry."

Evan giggled from a few feet away and Connor turned to him, "You don't ever think like doing anything like that either!"

"Don't worry! I won't"

"Good!"

Evan walked closer to the two boys and Connor pulled him into the hug.

"I'm really sorry." Jared said suddenly, breaking the silence.

"No no no no no no no no! It's me who should be sorry!" Connor pulled back slightly to look at Jared, "I shouldn't have left after you told me!"

"Speaking of which....If you don't mind me asking...what..was it? That made you so distant?"

Jared's got a numb look on his face as he looked away, not saying anything.

"Do you want me to tell Evan?" Connor put a hand on Jared's shoulder and he nodded.

Connor whispered into Evan's ear and Jared saw tears prick Evan's eyes. He was quickly pulled into yet another tight hug.

"I am so so so so so so so sorry Jared! You can tell us absolutely anything! We love you so so so much!"

Jared just sat there, numbly. 

"Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iM a SlUt FoR cOmMeNtS
> 
> (follow me on tumblr? maybe? https://k1ttyclaws.tumblr.com/ )


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things went back to normal after Jared came home. Of course, Evan and Connor were a lot more careful, but it still felt normal, but then.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {I suck at summaries}

*Ding Dong*

"Connor?! Can you get the door?! I'm busy?!"

Connor got up from the couch to go answer the door. He opened it to find a man that was about Larry's age, that he did not recognize.

"Um.. hello. Is Violet Hansen here? I heard this is where she lived."

"Sorry I don't think so."

Connor could hear Jared walk down the stairs.

"Oh okay. Sorry for the inconvenience! Have a nice day!"

"Oooookayyy.....?"

He shut the door.

Connor turned around and Jared was a few feet away. He nearly jumped out of his skin.

"JESus you scared me."

"Sorry. Who was that? At the door?"

"Some guy who had the wrong house. Surprisingly the girl he was looking for had the same last name as Ev, 'Violet Hansen', I think it was."

Jared looked frightened, and he was staining off into space.

Connor switched his demeanor from sarcastic to calm and soothing. He walked calmly but quickly over to his boyfriend.

"Hey..are you okay Jared?" 

"Y-yeah. We have to go call Evan!"

And with that Jared rushed up the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the idea for Evan's birth name from TBNB (the boys need a break) by HolyCoconut which is really good and you should read it if you haven't
> 
> {im really sorry for not asking i just wasn't really sure how to plz dont hate meeeeeeeee :(( }


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boy's @ home call Evan. Connor is very confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jsyk, Connor never new Evan before his transition. He never asked Evan about his old name cause he's knows it's rude. He respects that sort of thing.

Connor rushed after Jared.

"Jared why exactly, do we need to call Evan?"

"Shut up the phone's ringing."

Connor pulled the phone out of Jared's hand. 

"Hey!"

"Oh shut up im just putting it on speaker."

After a few more rings, Evan answered his phone.

{To make the conversation more easy to understand, I'm putting their initial in front of their text}

E: "Hello? Why are you calling me at work Jared."

J: "Uhm so... there was someone at the door and Con-"

C: "Hello"

J: "Shut up! Con answered the door, and it was your dad."

C: "Wait what. I'm so confused."

J: "Shush!"

Evan was silent on the other end.

C: "Ev? You okay?"

They heard some rustling on the other end.

E: "Oh my gosh I'm so stupid I just nodded my head."

Connor and Jared laugh lighty.

J: "But are you okay?"

E: "Yeah."

J: "You sure?.."

E: "Yes Jared I'm 100% positive that I am fine. So what! My dad- knows......where I live......"

C: "I'm still really confused."

E: "About- about what?"

J: "According to Connor, your dad answered the door looking for 'Violet Hansen'"

Evan went dead silent.

J: "Ev?"

C: "It's going to be alright."

Evan had hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha whoops
> 
>  
> 
> {WhY aRe YoU sTiLl ReAdInG tHiS (imeanthankstho)}


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared explains things to Connor and then they go to go pick up Evan from work.

"Jared. Before we go help Ev, can you explain?"

"Okay, so basically, Violet is Evan's dead name, and he never told his dad because the last time they talked, which was like 3 years ago, way before we got together, he said some really transphobic things, and Evan didn't want his dad to hate him."

"Oh.... Can I go yell at him?"

"No we need to help Ev."

"Fffffiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine"

They got into the car and Jared started it up.

"I'm surprised I didn't figure that out sooner."

"Yeah me too."

"I'm such a fucking idiot."

"Yeah, but you're our fucking idiot."

Connor smiled at Jared with the smile that only Evan and Jared have ever seen.

"You're damn right I am, and you're never getting rid of me."

"I wouldn't want to."

__________________________________________________________________________

After a while they pulled up at the bakery Evan works at. Jared and Connor walked in as slowly as they could, not wanting to cause a scene.

"Hello, we're looking for Evan?"

"Oh! Yeah you must be Connor and Jared, Ev's just in the back,"

"Thanks!"

"No prob- aaand they're gone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wOAh
> 
> (follow me on tumblr? https://k1ttyclaws.tumblr.com/ Maybe? please? i just want a friend ;-;)
> 
> (Haha im a loser)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys talk about Evan's dad.
> 
> Small warning, Evan is having a panic attack at the beginning, nothing is described in detail though

"Ev?"

They heard a sniffle from the corner of the room.

"Ye-es?"

They both dashed over to where they heard Evan's voice. He was curled up in a corner, shaking.

Jared and Connor did their best to calm him down from his panic attack. After a while of them sitting in silence Evan spoke up.

"So um.. we should... we should probably...talk about..about my dad and stuff.."

"Yeah, Jared explained 'Violet' to me, so you don't have to talk about that."

Evan exhaled. "Okay good."

"So Ev, what do you want to do about your dad?"

Evan mumbled something unintelligible.

Connor looked at Evan softly, his eyes warm, "What did you say Ev? I couldn't hear you."

"I-I..I said you could-you could barely call him my da-Ad." His voice cracked and his eyes filled up with tears.

Connor pulled Evan into a hug and hummed softly to help calm him. "It's okay, we can figure it out later. It's okay, it's okay."

Jared stood up, "I'll go let your boss know you need to come home." 

Evan continued to sob.

"Wh-y did th-this have to hap-p-pen, just whe-when Jared was st-start-t-ting tl get over his suicide attempt a-and.."

"Don't worry too much. Everything will be alright." Connor lied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating yesterday, I was busy, you know, not having friends.
> 
> *sniff*
> 
> ( https://k1ttyclaws.tumblr.com/ Follow me on tumblr and message me and i'll be your friend. {icouldusesomeofthosehaHA})


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor comforting Evan. With a touch of angst whoopsie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just so you guys know, my upload schedule is gonna be very inconsistent

Once they got home Evan scrambled into their room and hid himself underneath the covers. Connor followed after Evan to make sure he didn't try anything.

He sat down on the bed next to where Evan was. "Hey Ev. I'm here if you need me."

"Why do you still call me that."

"I'll call you whatever you want me to call you, now what do you want me to call you."

Connor heard a sniff and then he saw Evan's head come out from underneath the blankets. His eyes were all red and puffy from crying. 

"I-I like it when you call me Ev."

Connor ran his hand through Evan's hair. "Then I'll call you that."

Evan tugged on Connor's hoodie, pulling him into a kiss. They kissed for quite a while, it wasn't very passionate, it was lazy, but it was still full of love. 

They didn't hear over the kissing, the door opening, a startled gasp, and the door closing. And they definitely didn't hear the mumbling of, "Of course. It's not like they need you or anything." They didn't hear Jared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha whoops.
> 
> My boyfriend broke up with me but hey at least ive still got fanfiction.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared makes the boys some hot cocoa.
> 
> WARNING! Excessive amounts of fluff!

"They don't need you."

Jared quietly chanted that to himself as he walked into the kitchen. Despite feeling really shitty, he decided to make him and his boyfriends some hot chocolate.

Once the hot cocoa was finished he walked back into the bedroom.

"Are you guy's finished with your little make-out sesh yet?" Jared placed the three mugs on the bed-side table.

"You saw?" Evan looked apologetic.

"Yeah, I walked into the bedroom, you guys just must have not heard me."

Connor walked up to Jared and hugged him, "You know you can tell us if you feel left out."

Jared pushed Connor back slightly and looked at him. "I didn't feel left out. Really." He turned around and pointed at the mugs on the table, "I made us hot chocolate."

Evan rushed over and grabbed one of the cups, "HolycrapthankyouIfrickinlovehotchocolate." He took a sip and turned to Jared. "What would I do without you."

Jared could feel himself melt. He went over and grabbed the two remaining mugs and handed one to Connor.

All three boys sat down on the bed, Jared sitting pressed up against Evan, with Connor draped across both of their laps.

"So Evan," Jared looked at the boyfriend he was addressing, "What are we going to do about your dad."

Surprisingly, Evan didn't flinch at the question. "We're just gonna ignore it, if he comes back then I'll tell him everything that he missed." He spat out the last few words.

"Oooooorrrrrr," Connor lifted his head slightly and looked up at Evan, "I could punch him in the face."

"No."

"Damn."

Jared felt a lot less shitty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in literally forever I had three chapter drafts finished and then they decided to stop existing for some reason


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan's dad appears. Again.

"Darn! I'm out of hot chocolate."

"You must have been pretty *thirsty* Evan," Jared nudged Evan with his elbow as Evan's face turned red, "But I think that there's one more cup left in the kitchen."

Connor lifted his head, "I'll go get it for you Ev." He grabbed Evan's mug and headed down to the kitchen.

As he was pouring the cocoa, the doorbell rang.

*Ding Dong*

"I'll get it!" Connor yelled in the general direction of the bedroom.

He opened the door and saw Evan's father standing before him.

"Oh. It's you again."

"Hello, my name is James. I am the father of Violet Hansen. I *know* that she lives here. Can I see her?"

"Listen here "James". There is NO ONE in this house named Violet. So why don't you just LEAVE."

"I'm not leaving until I see my daughter."

\----------------------------------------------------------

"Listen here "James". There is NO ONE in this house named Violet. So why don't you just LEAVE."

Evan and Jared heard Connor yelling from the door.

"Do you think I should go talk to my dad."

"I personally, think you should let Connor punch him, but you can do whatever you want."

"Okay, I'll be back." Evan got up to leave.

"You're not leaving me, I want to see this. Andidon'twanttobeleftalone.."

They both walked to the door way and Evan stepped in front of Connor.

"Hello James, I am Evan Hansen, your son."

"I don't have a son."

"Let me explain everything that you *missed*."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehhhhh i hate my writing style
> 
>  
> 
> I don't know if Evan's dad has a canon name so I chose James. Idk why.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan freakin rOASTS JAMES

"Come on in." Connor and Jared could feel the salt in their boyfriends voice. Connor shut the door as James entered the living room.

"Sit down James."

"Okayyy?..."

"I'm trans. I was 'Violet' and now I'm Evan. My mom is very accepting and helped me through the highest points of my dysphoria because she was the ONLY ONE THERE." Evan's voice was sharp and he stood over his father, pausing a moment to calm himself down slightly. "These two," He gestured at his boyfriends, "Are Jared and Connor. My boyfriends."

James opened his mouth to speak but was shut down. 

"Save it. Now why are you here?" Evan said it as more of a statement than a question.

"I came to see how my daughter was doing but I guess your 'boyfriend' was right, she isn't here. You aren't my child."

"If you didn't come here prepared for whoever your 'daughter' had become then WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?! IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE MY FATHER THEN THAN WHY NOW?!"

Connor stepped forwards, "You should leave." He stated firmly and escorted James out, while Jared comforted Evan, who was on the floor sobbing.

"Hey... Everything is fine Ev.. He's gone. He left."

Evan lifted his head and drew in a breath, "I-I never needed him back- back then. I don't- I don't need him now."

"Darn right you don't. You have us. Me and Con. And we'll always be here."

"Thanks Jare. I love you guys"

Fin~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I'm sad that this is the end ;-;  
> It is highly likely i will make a sequal though! 
> 
> Also! I am creating an original work called Colours! If you want to read it click here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13626150/chapters/31288353  
> I would really appreciate it if you read :3


End file.
